Yes, But Can You Use It In A Sentence?
The company I pimp luggage for (and when you think about it, that is the very definition of retail consummerism at its heart) prides itself on being a family-oriented store. They have things for kids, things for parents, things for kids and parents, and probably even a few small, cheap things they can buy for those "black sheep" members of the family.
So it comes with no small amount of amusement that I reflect on last night's topic of discussion with one of my coworkers. The trigger was brought on by some twelve-something girls who came in wearing see-through, way-too-tight clothes that left virtually nothing to the imagination. I find it rather disturbing to realise that bodypaint would cover them better.
For the record I will say that there is nothing wrong with the human body, male or female, and that it is a wonderful thing to embrace(pardon the phrasing; this is the metaphysical way of embracing). If you want to proudly display it, then so be it.
However, when the clothing you wear seems geared to someone who is either physically smaller than you, or about five or seven years older than you, I see problems. Asthetics aside, when you dress like Halloween, expect ghouls to show up.
Added to this was the amazing vapidness of her conversation with her friends. I'm not as good an amateur astronomer as I'd like to be, but I will say that it's impressive to see a black hole of ignorance this close-up.
And so I turned to Crystal and asked almost rhetorically, "Just what do guys see in a woman like that?"
Crystal immediately flashed me what can only be described as an evil, maniacal smile, and answered, "Two words: Blow job."
Whereupon I said, "'Blowjob' isn't two words!"
"Okay, technically," Crystal conceded, "but it's hyphenated, so it can count as two words."
"The word 'blowjob' does not have a hyphen in it," I argued. "It's all one word. There's no spaces or dashes whatsoever in it. Take a look at any Harlequin romance novel or a Letters To Penthouse book, and you'll see I'm right!"
I think it was right around here we both dissolved into fits of laughter. I suppose it's just as well that no other customers were in the store; had they been present, I would have been robbed a most amusing and twisted conversation about spelling.
Ah, family-oriented fun indeed!
Today's Lesson: do not kill today someone whose body you cannot hide or bury until tomorrow.
posted by Phillip at 5:46 AM
